Re: Usage of “Use”
[Friend], I’m just going to make one point in response: Human emotional/psychic etc. exchange is as much a fact of life as money exchange and time exchange. We ALL “use” one another. It’s the lie that we don’t that traps us. But it’s a framing issue, [friend] and it’s really a bit negative and disingenuous. Switch out “benefit” for “use” and acknowledge that “benefit” is a reasonable expectation to receive for doing good and you flip it all around.
It’s a trap. Just another one of the many we put ourselves into. It makes it difficult to do the right thing because then the second you receive “benefit” for doing good you are accused of having “used” someone.
We DISINCENTIZE doing the right thing when we should be INCENTIVIZING it…
ALSO, you have to think about it in terms of power dynamics. Those with power need less — they are more independent — and therefore have less incentive to NOTICE or CARE. It’ not bad or good. It’s just the way it is. What I believe we should be doing is creating a culture where it’s okay to ask UP to power, but also okay to say “no” And where those with power give freely to those without with the implicit proviso that if THEY also succeed they’v also got to “pay it forward.”
What I take issue with is the dynamic that actually and reasonably places those with power into a position of equal if not more distrust and suspicion than those with less power. All of this need not be money related, but here is an interesting link on Wikipedia re: class envy…
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